Behind the Book: From a Southern Belle to the Mistress of a Plantation

Elite Southern Belles of the Old South were born into wealth that came with expectations. They were the daughters of the planter class who owned either medium-sized or large plantations. The large plantation owners accounted for 1% of the population and enslaved 50 or more people, while medium plantation owners enslaved 20-49 people and made up 10-12% of the population. Southern Belles soon learned that appearances of power can be deceptive when transitioning from Southern Belle to Plantation Wife. A woman might appear to preside over the home, but the actual control belonged to the white men. The institution of slavery shaped her entire life.

Young elite women’s families groomed them from early childhood to develop grace and politeness, often sending them to a Southern female academy. There, they would refine their musical skills (piano, singing), needlework, dancing, and French. Their families structured their daughter’s life around preparing for marriage, reputation, and representing her family’s status. Above all, she was to be the epitome of a “Southern Lady”: pious, obedient to her husband, polite, charming, delicate, and feminine.

Social life, which included balls, church gatherings, extended family visits, and activities within their regional social circles, may have been entertaining. Still, the true purpose was to meet potential suitors and form alliances between powerful plantation families.

Young Southern Belles who married into another elite plantation family assumed the role of plantation mistress, often as young as 18–20. Even though accustomed to plantation life, they found transitioning to the role of plantation mistress difficult. The role was enormous. They found themselves trapped in a home that was both public and political because the institution of slavery chained home and business together. As their own diaries reveal, beneath the surface of privilege lay a private world of isolation, exhaustion, and quiet misery.